Category Archives: Reviews

Final Cut (1998)

I’m not going to properly review this film because it’s a bit old and it wasn’t good enough for me to review as a ‘classic’ 18 – I’m trying to keep ahead of the times and shit here.  Don’t want … Continue reading

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Drive Angry 3D (2011)

At the end of the screening for Drive Angry 3D I spent quite a while looking for the ‘like’ button on my seat so that I could press it.  This is because I ‘liked’ Drive Angry 3D a great deal … Continue reading

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Phenomena (1985)

“This looks interesting, that’s Jennifer Connelly before she was famous.  Oooh, she’s going to a spooky old school with a strict headmistress – exciting!  Wait, what’s this?  There’s a murderer going around killing people?  Things are getting even more interesting … Continue reading

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Crying With Laughter (2009)

Crying With Laughter is about a stand-up “comedian” (I’m doing the bunny ears thing as we speak, whilst waving my head back and forth with my lips pursed going ‘oooooooh’). (BECAUSE I’M BEING SARCASTIC ISN’T IT.) Anyway, this stand-up comedian … Continue reading

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The Lovers’ Guide 3D: Igniting Desire (2010)

ALL THIS FUCKING TIME I’VE BEEN HAVING SEX IN 2D WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING IT IN 3D. All I needed was The Lovers’ Guide 3D: Igniting Desire to teach me how. It’s basically like The Lovers’ Guide, you … Continue reading

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Shocker (1989)

Shocker is written and directed by Wes Craven (the guy behind countless awesome 18s like A Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream and The Hills Have Eyes), therefore it should be good.  However, whereas it started off rather fantastically – I … Continue reading

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I Only Watch 18s Book Club: If Chins Could Kill

Unfortunately, not actually about a killer chin, or even about someone with a killer chin.  Also, the title makes out that chins can’t actually kill, when they clearly can, see below: Pretty sure his chin could kill. Anyway, erroneous title … Continue reading

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I Only Watch 18s Book Club: The Golden Age of Censorship

I normally don’t read fiction books – I usually limit myself to non-fiction books about films (obviously), swearing and/or ghosts.  However, The Golden Age of Censorship is fiction, but it is also about films (with particular emphasis on 18s) and … Continue reading

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Enter the Void (2010)

So obviously I saw this ages ago because my finger’s so on the pulse that I’ve completely stopped blood flow and if I’m not careful then my arm’s going to fall off.  However, I just noticed an article on http://www.melonfarmers.co.ukContinue reading

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Classic 18: Crank (2006)

I like Jason Statham, he’s been in some 18s (War (seen), Lock, Stock (seen), Snatch (seen), The Expendables (seen)) but unfortunately he’s most famous for his Transporter movies which I haven’t seen because I don’t need someone to wipe my … Continue reading

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